I’m not sure who reads this, but I am still here. My life as I knew it is completely different than it was before. My future will not look the way I imagined it would, and this is cause for both great mourning and great hope.

There has to be hope.

Every day has been a series of ups and downs, but after almost three months I have found some stability. Stability with my job and living situation and finances has allowed to me to think and feel more deeply about what has happened and where I go from here.

Next month, after my quarterly work trip to Portland, I decided I am going to embark on a solo road trip. I will go from Portland to Olympic National Park, camp for a few days, and then spend almost a whole week in Vancouver, Canada in an AirBnB. I know it’s cliche to go on a “find yourself” journey after a major life change like this one, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be good. I know it will– spiritually, emotionally, mentally. I need to prove to myself that I will be OK being alone, that I can be OK with my own company, getting affirmation only from myself and from God.


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